Is It Possible to Train for an Ultra Marathon When You’re a Mother and/or Primary Caregiver?

There’s no doubt about it: training for an ultra as a mother or primary caregiver of children can be daunting.

Those small humans are time-consuming creatures and their needs are extensive and diverse. You’re on call 24/7, and you have no idea when one of them is going to get sick and suddenly you’re on a 24-hour shift… or longer.

You’re already being pulled between so many human needs, the needs of the house itself, your own basic needs, such as brushing your hair and peeing a few times a day, plus often trying to hold down a job as well.

You’re a teacher, nurse, chef, taxi driver, partner, chief cuddle provider and tear wiper. Your roles are seemingly endless.

How on earth do you also add ultra marathon training into your already busy workload?

Then let’s also talk about “mother’s guilt”.

It’s real, and it’s brutal.

Taking any amount of time for yourself can feel selfish, and spending hard-earned money from the family budget can feel even harder. For some reason, it seems perfectly reasonable to buy those lovely little humans new shoes as their feet grow ever bigger, but new running shoes for yourself are a much harder sell. Instead, you try to convince yourself that surely you can squeeze another 100 kilometres out of the ones you already own; after all your toes aren't fully out the upper just yet.

I have been through all of these mental battles over the years and I can tell you first hand how challenging it can be at times. Challenging but not impossible. 

Having kids whilst working towards big goals may not have been easy but I was a better, more regulated and emotionally present mother because of it. Training for ultra also helped me work through life's tougher times because I became more emotionally resilient. My kids got a better me because of it!

I started running when my children were small toddlers and immediately came up against the need for shoes specifically designed for running. I was rudely awakened as to how expensive this sport can get, even as a recreational road runner.

For trail runners, things get even more expensive once you start needing gear to carry fluids, first aid kits, safety equipment, PLBs and, most importantly, a substantial supply of lollies. Because what’s the point of being prepared for an emergency if you don’t have snacks?

Costs aside, when I first found running, life was also ridiculously busy. I was running my own business as a dog groomer, acting as the primary caregiver for the children and our two dogs, trying to keep the house in some sort of orderly fashion whilst also attempting to maintain my sanity.

My husband worked long hours and was out of the house from 6am to 7pm, five days a week, which didn’t leave much time for me. Weekends were spent either doing life admin or trying to prioritise time together as a family.

I found myself in a constant push and pull between what I wanted to do, which was to run more, and what I felt I should do, which was parent more. As if I wasn't already parenting enough!

I really had to work on balancing those two needs.

There was the need that whispered to me that I wanted to see how far I could go, what new things I could learn and what new places I could see. And then there was the need that shouted at me, rather obnoxiously, to keep the house clean and the kids happy.  

It really came down to getting good at logistics, setting realistic expectations, and, perhaps most importantly, being kind to myself. I had to accept that I wasn’t being unreasonable in wanting to follow a newfound passion that was ultimately having positive mental and physical impacts on me.

As my children grew, I thought things would get easier. Instead, school didn’t work out for my son and I ended up home schooling both of my children for a total of nine years. Which meant my time and focus had to be split across even more things. But during all of that time, I never lost my passion for running and trail running became my release.

I weaved trail running into my parenting journey because it helped me feel like I was still developing a part of myself instead of pouring all of my energy solely into my children.

Through running I found community, adventure, health and wellness, and eventually an education that would lead me into a new career as a running coach, a career which I absolutely adore.

And it turns out, my children benefited from all of those things too.

Last week I celebrated my lovely kiddos turning 15 and 17, and I’ve been reflecting on how much easier training is now that they are largely independent. Aside from when I’m nagging them for the gazillionth time to do something, that is.

But the years between then and now? They were tough at times, and full of challenges, so I had to be flexible and creative with how I trained, and with the expectations I set for myself along the way. 

So here's my advice to help you think outside of the box and give you the confidence that it is in fact possible to train for ultra whilst still being a great parent. 

Don’t compare yourself to people who don’t have children or who are at different stages of their parenting journey

I know plenty of very busy people who do not have children, but, understandably the lifestyles and challenges that a parent and a non-parent face will look completely different, and therefore, their training schedules should probably look different too. Likewise, the training schedule of a parent with teenagers and that of a parent with babies will also need to be different.

Trying to squeeze in a huge number of training hours while not getting enough sleep to recover because your kiddo is sick and not sleeping, or they just haven’t worked out that when nature turns out the light it’s time for bed yet, can be a pretty quick road to injury. 

You may not have the luxury of being able to run straight after work because you are needed to cook meals, and do bath and bedtime routines. So you need to look for other slots of time for training such as waiting until your partner gets home, running early in the morning, or even hitting the treadmill at the gym because it’s dark outside and you don’t feel safe running alone.

Get creative with your time. Minimise what you can, prioritise what matters and work smarter, not harder. Recognise that we are all at different life stages and plan your training accordingly.

Nothing brings me more joy than seeing my athletes achieve their goals. This is Anna, who completed her first 50k at Naseby and then went on to complete a miler a few months later. All whilst working full time with two young children. Incredible!

Set realistic expectations of yourself

Whilst I am all about setting big goals, I am also a huge advocate for making sure those goals are realistic for your current circumstances which as your children grow will change from year to year.

If you are dealing with sleep deprivation, minimal hours to yourself and/or a high workload, you need to be realistic about how many hours a week you can actually train and recover. The time you have available needs to be considered when deciding what race distance and goal is appropriate for you.

Don’t try to run a 100-miler if you realistically only have three opportunities to train each week and very little recovery time in between. I started with trail half marathons and built from there, it wasn't until my children were a little older that I decided to go all in on the ultra marathon training.

Whatever your goal, your body needs enough training stimulus to build the resilience required for the distance, and you also need enough recovery to adapt to that training.

You still, above everything else, need to be able to function day to day for your family and to pay your bills so its important to minimise the risk of injury so you can keep doing those things.

Of course, injury can happen to anyone. But making sure your goals marry up with your actual training availability is the best way to reduce the risks whilst setting yourself up for success.

Now is also not necessarily the time to try to beat the times you may have set in your 20s or pre-children.

Set goals that are realistic for where your body is at right now.

If you have carried and birthed children, your body will have changed significantly, and recovery can take time. Be kind to it and meet it where it is at, not where it once was.

It is no small feat that our bodies go through whilst growing a whole human from scratch. Give them time and space to recover - and bear in mind that will look different from woman to woman.

Get creative with how and when you train

Some training is better than no training, so take what you can get, when you can get it.

This may look like training early in the morning before the kids get up or heading out in the evening after they go to bed.

Don’t rule out using a treadmill. Yes, they are boring but they can be a legitimate part of ultra training if it means you can train at home or in the gym after dark etc. You can reframe the boredom as resilience training, which is a very useful skill for ultra running. Suddenly, those sessions become a lot more valuable.

When my son broke his leg a few years back, he was in a wheelchair for six weeks, and couldn’t be left home alone. At the time I was training for the Crater Rim Ultra, which is a beastly 53km with around 2,400m of elevation gain, and all of a sudden I had to choose whether to completely change how I was training or drop down to a shorter distance.

I decided to keep trying for the original distance. Since I was stuck in the house every day, and it was winter, I didn’t feel safe running on the streets at night after my husband got home. So I hired a treadmill for six weeks and plonked it in my living room. It wasn’t a perfect or particularly fun solution, but it was a good solution to a short-term problem.

And it’s a pretty good example of how us mums sometimes have to adapt, get creative and still find a way to make things work when life gives us lemons. 

Here's my son using the same "ultra mindset" and making the most of a bad situation. He felt that he needed to move his body to deal with the boredom but was in too much pain to go to the gym, so we did weights at home together. It meant I got my strength workouts in whilst also looking after his mental health too.

Splitting your training into two sessions can also be an option. If you have an hour of training to do that day but it’s easier for you to do two lots of 30 minutes, then do that. It may feel clunky, but breaking a session into smaller chunks can still be a useful way to accumulate training when life makes one continuous session difficult.

Prioritise the important sessions and be prepared to make changes when life gets messy. This is where investing in a coach for guidance can be helpful. A coach will be able to tell you which are the most important sessions and when you might need to notch back a hard sessions to an easy session because you were up all night with a vomiting child and didn't get much sleep.

They will also help with removing the cognitive load from you at a time when there is already so much to think about. Putting the decisions about your training in someone else's hands can remove a portion and allow you to stop wondering "am I doing enough?"

Involve the kids in your training

If your kids are young enough, and/or willing enough, you can also involve them in your training.

Investing in a good running buggy can be a lifesaver. They can come along for their naps, or you can turn your run into an outing to a local park or go on adventures together looking for new parks further afield.

If your kids are older, perhaps they would enjoy running a few kilometres with you? Over the years I’ve had my kids on bikes or scooters next to me, which can be a good way to hang out and get some exercise together. On a side note though - weren't they cute? LOL!

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Some kids are more open to being involved than others, and I am fully on board with bribery. “Let’s run to the ice cream shop” is a perfectly acceptable training strategy in my book for both parent and child and they are never to old for this tactic to be relevant.

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Yes that is my 16 year old son running with me and being rewarded by a trusty old Tip Top ice cream!

I’ve also added things such as rogaining into my training, which can be fun for kids and families of all ages. It’s a great way to get time on your feet while moving at lots of different speeds and over different terrains.

If your kids are slower because they have little legs, you could even load up your pack with some weights or extra water bottles to make things more challenging for yourself. Although, in my case, my kids are generally much quicker than me over shorter distances, so I get some bonus speed work thrown in and definitely don’t need extra weight in my pack!

Build contingencies into your ultra marathon training plan

Make sure you have enough time between starting your training and your overall goal.

Let’s face it, children are notorious germ factories, and it’s inevitable that at some point during your training you will need to put things aside while you nurse a sick kiddo.

They are, of course, also excellent at sharing their germs, so you may need to have some time off for your own sickness too.

If you start your training plan with plenty of time, having a few weeks where life gets messy doesn’t necessarily have to mean the difference between getting to a start line or not.

This is one of the reasons I like to avoid trying to cram training into the shortest possible timeframe.

How long you need to train depends on lots of things, your current fitness, your experience, the distance, the terrain and the amount of training you can realistically manage. But when you’re a parent, having some extra breathing room in the plan can be incredibly valuable, so the longer the better.

Encourage support from your partner, or build your own support network

Of course, not everyone is lucky enough to be in a situation where they can rely on another parent for support. But if you do have the other parent or a partner at home, I encourage you to ask for their support - it's ok for your goals and dreams to take up some space in the family calendar.

Explain why this goal means a lot to you and work together to find ways to make it possible. Make sure it works both ways so it feels fair for both of you. For my husband and I that looked like me trail running on Sundays through the summer and him snowboarding on Sundays through winter whilst our kids were young. We couldn't both have it all so we found our compromises and what hobbies felt most important to us at the time. 

If you don’t have a supportive partner or you are solo parenting, try to find other support networks. Grandparents, babysitters, friends or other family members can all potentially help. They may love the opportunity to spend time with your children, and it’s great for kids to form bonds with people other than just their parents. 

If you don’t have an established support network, perhaps try to create one.

Find a community of other parents and consider doing childcare swaps where you each take turns having the kids while the other gets some time to do something for themselves. The kids get a playdate and you get some time to train - bonus!

It increases the logistics, of course, but it’s another tool in the box to use when needed.

Final thoughts

If you’re sitting on the fence about running an ultra with kids, I’m here to encourage you to consider it not only reasonable, but also totally possible.

Over the years of ultra running and coaching, I’ve met some incredible mothers out there completing ultramarathons. I’ve seen their children at aid stations cheering them on and running over finish lines with them and had the privilege of experiencing this myself. We become an inspiration to them and show them what hard work and resilience can achieve.

Me with two of my athletes after Crater Rim 2026, all 3 of us are busy mums who prioritise our time so we can do cool stuff. Never let the guilt win and tell you that you can't be a good mum whilst also doing something for yourself.

Having said that, we are still a minority, and there are so many barriers for women to get onto start lines, only some of which I have covered in this article today. 

I would love to see more women supported to take on these challenges so that this becomes more commonplace.

I believe many mums simply don’t think they should put themselves first, or don’t have the confidence to believe that this is something they could do or should do. I want you to hear me when I say: that isn’t true. You have just as much right to be on that start lines as anyone else.

Plenty of the mums I’ve met, and others I’ve coached, are “normal” mums juggling many of the same life stressors as each other. They aren’t necessarily naturally gifted at running when they start, myself included, but they are committed. Committed to their families, but also committed to themselves and their own running journeys and have subsequently gone on to achieve great things.

I urge you to put aside some of that mum guilt, get creative, set realistic expectations, and remember that training smarter, not simply harder, can help you achieve more than you might think is possible right now.

Wanting something for yourself doesn’t make you a bad parent. In fact, it can make you an inspiring one. 

I never wanted to just tell my kids to reach for the stars. I wanted to show them how to reach for the stars themselves. So far, my endeavours haven't made them want to run a single kilometre just for the sake of running a kilometre; their sport choices are very different to mine LOL. But they have each worked hard, following their own passions, and told me how proud they are of what I have achieved alongside them growing up, and that alone makes this journey so worthwhile.

So to all you fellow mothers out there, let's start filling up those start lines and owning our space at this beautiful, soul-filling table!

Ready to stop thinking “I could never” and start thinking “Why not me?”

Training for an ultra while raising a family is absolutely possible, but your training needs to work with your life, not against it.

That’s where I can help. I coach women and parents who want to run further, get stronger and chase big goals, with personalised training designed around the realities of work, family and everything else life throws at you.

When your cognitive load is already stretched, the last thing you need is another thing to think about. I take care of the planning and break your training down into small, manageable chunks. You just need to lace up your shoes and do the work, I’ll take care of the rest.

If you’re ready to take the leap, get in touch and let’s talk about what’s possible.